Cole In Oscopy: Archive

MX+B: The Journey →

mxandb: Say I were to take a vacation next summer - where should I go? How should I get there? The budget is relatively open and I could take 5 days off from work most likely. Odds are, I’d be going alone - but that hasn’t stopped me yet (!). I prefer spa settings or something just incredibly relaxing… Paris.First Class.International.

Aug 1st

4 notes

Work/Life Balance Low Point

Everything is depressing about shifting around Pivot Tables for 12hrs., only to come home and watch humans reach their potential. #Olympics #Excel #OnlyNotExcelling #TurningTables

Aug 1st

11 notes

1 tag

True Facts

I won’t be satisfied until it’s renamed Chick-Fil-HEY, GURL HEY!!! #DeepThoughts

Jul 31st

9 notes

Jul 31st

15 notes

Lake Flaccid

I feel the same way about watching Olympic semis as I do other types of semis—unimpressed. #bonerjokes

Jul 31st

3 notes

Rich Bitch

I’m highly amused that Republicans are shelling out hundreds of millions of dollars to send Mitt Romney on—what basically amounts to—a summer abroad. I hope he finds himself on this Eat, Pray, Love-whirlwind-of-self involvement journey.

Jul 30th

22 notes

Jul 28th

15 notes

Note To Self: Acquire British children to herald my coming in song. #olympicceremony #Olympics

Jul 28th

20 notes

Friday: UNFUCKED

Wine & Olympics! A perfect end to a day where I wanted to shoot white-hot plasma out of my eyes at just about everyone I interacted with.

Jul 28th

4 notes

Toss My Cob Salad

If anyone ever tells you that they need something “by C.O.B.” instead of actually saying the words “close of business,” I think you are perfectly within your right to send it to them by way of a corncob, a male swan, or a driving horse—then feign surprise when they inform you they were not spelling the word “cob” out for you. #DeepThoughts #ColeOfaBitch

Jul 25th

18 notes

GIRL DONE CHANGED HER NAME

I keep getting wrong numbers for someone named Carmen Santiago. A. That’s really close to Carmen Sandiego. B. They are unable to find her.

Jul 24th

49 notes

3 tags

Cock Conjuring

I’m really disappointed by the fact that there were no “that’s not the only thing rising” jokes about The Dark Knight Rises. #boners

Jul 23rd

9 notes

Jul 18th

318 notes

Gross

I need to hire a little troll to appear every 3 months and yell, “Hey, you, yeah you! Go change your air-conditioning filter!” I’m ashamed of how dirty it was. Part of me has always wondered why you can’t just vacuum the filter and stick it right back up there, but I’ve never been brave enough to do it. DEEP THOUGHTS ARE DEEP.

Jul 15th

11 notes