February 2011
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Fuck Me Running
I’m so sick of hearing about the Super Bowl. That’s all they’re covering on the news, football and weather, Egypt doesn’t exist.
Lentil Jokes
Have become the new “FIRST!” on food posts. I declare them dead. Who’s with me? I SAID, WHO’S WITH ME?
3.1 Miles Later And All Is Right With The World
…exercise, it’s a hellavuh drug.
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January 2011
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"You've Become Such A Cranky Bitch."
That’s what one of my coworkers said to me today. I just stared at them for a second all wide-eyed. My typical reaction would have been to go off on her, thanking her for her unsolicited judgment, but then I realized she was right. I have become incredibly cranky lately. I blame the winter.
Someday
…my grandchildren will ask me about what’s going on in Egypt right now and I”l have to admit that I was too busy buying a house, chasing the Aloof* Bubble-Butt Architect and working to follow it.
Am I the only one who feels shame for not always being able to keep up with current events? My history professors would be spinning in their office chairs right now if they knew.
...
Training People
It’s weird how some people aren’t intuitive when it comes to computer systems. I’m certain I suck at training, because it’s taking everything in me not to bat hands when they click on a cell and hit the edit key, “JUST DOUBLE CLICK!”
4:00 A.M. Drunken Confession Time
So, I’m going to treat tumblr like the confession room on The Real World right now. Remember how awesome and entertaining those were before they started casting unlikeable people, or you grew old enough to realize that the cast is unlikeable.
Okay, Bubble-Butt Architect we’ve gone to numerous parties in the last couple of months and all of our friends think we’d be perfect...
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Fuck It
I posted a slightly altered version in the comments of what I said here.
Who Gives A Fuck If Your Little Girl Wants To Wear...
Do actual parents even have time to worry about this shit? Who are these “Cinderella Ate My Daughter” reading mother fuckers who have time to analyze and nitpick every event in their child’s life? My mom was a whirlwind of things to do and my dad was busy working his ass off. They didn’t have time to worry about how my fashion decisions would alter my 4-year-old inner...
Lady Blog
What’s with all this raising babies shit? It feels like you’re the rest of my peer group, staring at me, waiting for me to get married and have babies, and discussing boring shit—like children—at parties.
missbananafish asked: What's the interior of your house like? Are you going to have to make any major changes? Do you want to change anything?
I think the exterior is super cute.
I think the exterior is super cute.
HOLY.FUCK.NUTS.
I just found out there’s a walking/hiking/biking trail two blocks from the house I’m purchasing. Maybe I’ll give into tumblr peer pressure and become an ass-kicking runner. Or, just put out a lawn chair and admire ass-kicking runners.
erinburr replied to your post: When Commenters Talk Shit About My City
Dallas has no culture, no history, and the only thing there is to do is shop. It’s populated by white Republicans with guns. Do they even have vegetarians in Texas? Where’s your accent? Everyone in Dallas wishes they lived in Austin, amirite?
Are you from Oklahoma? (jokes/not at all serious)
Won't You Be My Neighbor
pleasantries replied to your post: When Commenters Talk Shit About My City
Rude. Speaking of Dallas — where is your house located? I am trying to move back (slowly but surely) and am lusting after the M streets. Should this have gone in the ask box? I don’t follow rules.
Oh, I don’t mind. The house I’m buying is in the Hollywood Heights neighborhood, which is a little south of the M...
You Bettah Watch Out...
thetart replied to your post: They don’t call it Love Field* for nothing
Wiki says Manhattan is 33sqmi or ~21k acres. DFW is 19k acres. Not far off at all.
Homeland Security is probably monitoring you after looking that up.
They don't call it Love Field* for nothing
thetart replied to your post: When Commenters Talk Shit About My City
Without even clicking the link, I predict at least 2 people in the first 10 comments who have formed their opinion of Dallas from driving through or having a layover at DFW.
Both of which are the most miserable experiences ever. Someone once told me that DFW was the size of Manhattan Island, I’m too lazy to check, but...
When Commenters Talk Shit About My City
…I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.
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Yesterday I Worked Until 10 p.m.
…today I started work at 5 a.m., FUCK.BOARD.MEETINGS.IN.THEIR.POOP.CHUTE.
On top of my normal job, every hour I’m whisked away to drive some rich old white men to the airport (because, you know, I double majored in that shit) OR I’m asked to emergency crunch numbers of some ridiculous request that an old rich white man has made. (I’ve given so many side-eyes today that I...
Cleaning Out My PMs On Ladyblog
…is a weird experience, half of them are really nice sweet notes, and the other half are comparing me to former dictators. Also, I didn’t realize how many assy public messages people had left me.
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See You Next Tuesday
The assistant to my loan officer is getting on my last nerve. I’m okay with annoying people who have been promoted to a level where they’re incompetent, yeah I’ve worked in Corporate America, but if you’re annoying and have received said promotions, don’t be a fucking bitch about it—because I’ll snap and sass your ass into a corner over the phone.
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The Academy Awards
I’d love to sit hear and bitch about how stupid all of the nominations for The Social Network are, but this isn’t anymore embarrassing than when Jennifer Hudson or Reese Witherspoon won Oscars. Yeah, I keep forgetting that. Jennifer Hudson, of American Idol and Weight Watchers fame, has an Academy A-fucking-ward. Thankfully, there’s enough talent in this year’s...
caitastrophejane-deactivated201 asked: Yep she tweeted about it. I guess she is trying to do other stuff and LB is too much stress. What do your Saturdays look like?
beezystark asked: I MISSED YOU I'M SO HAPPEH YOU'RE BACK! THIS REQUIRES ALL CAPS! I'M NOT A COUSIN ORPHAN ANYMORE! AND WHO IS YOUR NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY CRUSH BECAUSE I WANNA MAKE YOU SOMETHING IN CELEBRATION
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The Only Downside To Being Gay (In My Opinion)
Is that you can never mention salads, tossing, etc. without everyone who knows you getting a sheepish grin.
(It was funny the first 1,000 times, really.)
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House Update
Homeowner’s Insurance: I Haz It!
Also, new roof is being put on today. Hooray! *kicks up heels*
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WE INTERRUPT THIS INTERNET HIATUS
…to inform you that if The Social Network wins the Oscar for Best Picture I’m moving to fucking France. It’s The Kids Are All Right or Black Swan or I’m throwing the biggest internet/real life fit that anyone has ever seen.
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Problem Solved
Here, there’s nothing like a teaching moment, especially when it involves yourself.
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INTERNET VACATION
I’ve got a business trip next week, so I’m starting an internet vacation. See all you lovely people in 10 days. Oh, and I promise to work on my misogynistic ways.
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Hiring My First Employee Today
I no longer work for the man, I have become the man. Oh, God. Worst part, it’s not even a woman.
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brutallyhonestbabes:
curtcole:
morninggloria replied to your post: Good Inspection I AM COMING AND SLEEPING THERE. I WILL JUST SHOW UP ONE DAY.
A new queen bed and private half bath await you, my internet wife.
Bitch, are you steppin’ in my marital bed? I KILL YOU!
Your sister wife rings should be coming in the mail any day now.
awesomehostile asked: Remember the importance of Christ in every meal.
Oh did I say Christ? I meant fiber.
Oh did I say Christ? I meant fiber.
