Fillion My Gap
I really wanted Nathan Fillion to show up to the Dallas ComicCon so I could get him to sign something for my mom (a huge Castle fan) that said something horribly inappropriate. #ChristmasIsRuined
missed-something-once answered: fuck people who...
Survey Says: TOP ANSWER!
What Is Your Opinion On Re-Naming A Dog You Adopt?
The current name is…not so great.
Hopefully This Is The Latest Addition to the...
So, I’m adopting a rescue beagle—hopefully on Saturday, he is the cutest dog in the world. I hope I pass the interview since my application was accepted. FUN.
Hot To Trots
I must not have celebrated Cinco de Mayo properly, because today I’m playing musical chairs with Montezuma’s revenge.
Gringo de Mayo
To wrap up a perfect weekend, I had the wherewithal to remember to purchase Cinco de Mayo earplugs. Of course, I made enchiladas with red sauce for lunch to celebrate, so it may be me setting off my own special foghorn tonight and keeping up the neighbors.
WHY THE FUCK IS LIFE NOT SUCKING? WHAT IS THIS?
For a homebody I had a pretty social weekend. I ate pho with two incredibly beautiful women, attended a horror conventions with two old friends, hung out with my bff and her totally adorable boy, ate the best hamburgers in DFW and swam with my favorite married couple and am now home in time to watch Doctor Who and still go to bed at a reasonable hour. Plus it’s been, like, a year since I got...
Confirmed: Avengers 2 Script Does Feature... →
glossylalia: kyssthis16: Joss Whedon’s favourite brother and sister act have been confirmed. I hope he does something cool and not make them white. That would be awesome. If not, then…… it would be expected. No Monica Rambeau. This is all bullshit. But can it still be me and Stevie though? As long as there is a scarlet M tiara, I am on board.
Deep Mother Effing Thoughts
Running sucks. I know this because, much like Shakira, my hips don’t lie.
Shit Was Getting Too Real On This Blog
Sometimes I daydream that Monsanto is going to create some corn or soybean that destroys humanity—like—Skynet Corn.
I had a dream last night and Gran was in it. My mind didn’t remember that she died so we just went for a walk in a garden. She was in good health and spirit. I was shorter than her. When we parted I got one of the best hugs I’ve ever had and she grabbed my hand as I was walking away, squeezed it tight, and then slowly released my hand finger by finger. I woke up crying. I got to...
I just culled my Facebook friends list of anyone who has ever made my sister cry—you people are horrid assholes—even though you probably won’t read this. My sister is a sweet, kind, and gentle soul who shouldn’t have to take shit off of anyone—and certainly not from a pack of broken-down-thirty-something Mean Girls.
I'm glad Resurrection Sunday means more than just...
New Gas Oven Is HERE
I ended up having to connect it myself…I wore plaid and purposefully exposed my ass crack for the occasion. If I did it wrong and unintentionally Sylvia Plath myself, know that I love you all.
Boogers & Burners
I will not let a weekend cold steal my thunder over my new oven arriving today. #livebloggingboringshit
I JUST REALIZED THAT I NEVER CLICKED "INTERESTED...
No wonder I’m single.
lalie said: Just tell people you’re getting your Em Bee Gay. Best Reply EVER.
Something about the reality of having to get an MBA to further my career is so depressing. Isn’t that, like, getting a masters in being incredibly uncool? It just seems too Rich Old White Guy for me and no amount of Gay Magic can make that okay.
I’m throwing so much shade at everything today that you would need night vision goggles to see me.
Profesh Breakup Playlist
I tend to treat my job like a relationship. Tomorrow is my review. I’ve created a playlist should it not go the way I want it to. (I will be playing these at an unprofessional volume.) Give Me On Reason~Tracy Chapman Under My Thumb~The Rolling Stones Let Us Move On~Dido Don’t Come Around Here No More~Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers Erase & Rewind~The Cardigans Seven Devils~Florence + The...
Why Are Plumbers Never As Attractive As You'd Like...
Porn lied to us, boys and girls.
Water, water, everywhere!
The only thing good about having to call a plumber is the door of horrible puns that it opens. Pipe it down!
I just realized that the reason my legs were acting like they were going to explode on yesterday’s walk was because I spent the early morning watching Dirty Dancing and imitating the moves in my living room on my tiptoes. It’s all Patrick Swayze’s fault. #SpeakingIllOfTheDead
OOOWWWW FUCKING OUCH!
I’ll never understand how I can walk/jog/run for weeks on end, then go out and get shin splints so bad that it feels like Tanya Harding’s boyfriend took a lead pipe to my legs with jabbing pain the frequency of the claps in Deep In The Heart Of Texas. Fucking fuck.
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I’ve decided I am tired of my curls and am going to get them straightened. I hope I don’t end up with weird Last of the Mohicans hair.
Eye Can't Handle This
I need to find a less creepy eye doctor office. I keep waiting for twin girls on tricycles to come barreling down the long dark carpeted hallways.
My current self image is teetering between Cat Lady and Fat Elvis.
Tapping My Left Foot
When is Anne Hathaway’s ego going to materialize and breathe fire at the other nominees as it clutches its next trophy?
Someday We'll Find it, The Cerberus Connection!
So, I had a lovely evening with my friend Erin. She dropped me off at my house only to call me a minute later and tell me that she has a “weird dog situation” on the Santa Fe Trail, which is like a minute from my house. I walked over to find Erin staring at two dogs that looked like someone had tied their tales together. I slowly inched up thinking some asshole had abused these...